but i’m so glad i slept okay and woke early enough to blade before the onslaught of humidity welcomed the day. today i’ll finish a book i’m reading…hopefully…reading is a sure way for me to fall asleep. having trouble sleeping? read. want to forget about the troubles of this world via slumber? read. anxiety sustaining…
life
the way i was raised
women did everything…that’s why i’m so seemingly independent. the toilet overflows–i know how to plunge, turn off water, use a mop if need be, etc. a mouse enters–i shriek momentarily, i clear away all paper from the floor, i look for drops, etc grass grows–i get out the mower, check gas levels, fill if need…
death too soon
so yes, we’re at the age when more family dies…but mothers? a friend’s mum died last night. she was a beautiful woman… i can’t imagine what he’s feeling right now, what he’s thinking. …
preparation
i’m forever buckling up my shoes…always preparing for something, dreaming up something big, hoping it’ll happen yet too scared to work hard enough…afraid i’ll fail. so i’m forever buckling and seldom standing tall, walking confidently, head high, shoulders straight. i’m seated on that chair, couch, stool, bed, floor, making sure my shoes are secure. do…
1 word
as i sat on the extraordinarily huge beanbag watching a movie, my friend’s cat hopped up and curled right into my side space. her presence made me think of the word “nurture.” for those who’ve seen me with cats, they know i’m not all googoo gaga over the little attitudy animals but i’ll allow them…
the message
you need to restart your computer. hold down the power button for several seconds or press the restart button. that’s the death message. i’ve had it 3 times now. i’m a bit afraid. but the message isn’t supposed to create fear. it’s supposed to simply heighten awareness. there’s no system failure but failure to connect…
from excitement to fear
fear…there’s something to it…something useful. it’s not that God can’t use us when we’re not fearful but fear humbles in a way that useful. so now i’m useful…coz let me tell ya, i’m afraid! afraid of saying foolishness afraid of disgracing God afraid that… but why? okay…so the “useful” thing only goes so far. once…