In no other way could I have known how many cymbals, sirens and bulldozers were tromping around in my head, frolicking like job-less teens in the summertime, except by stepping away from my job for two months. The noise was deafening, overwhelming. What percentage of the noise was inner critic or outer, I don’t know. […]
I’m that person who looks around O’Hare wondering who I know because there must be someone; the world isn’t that big, right? If I could page the entire airport, I would. “Hi folks. My name is Michaela Lawrence Jeffery. At least one of you knows me. Meet me in the F gates.” Twice. Twice I’ve […]
The event in this early stage of an essay took place several years ago. One day I’ll finish the essay. The heaviness I felt that afternoon is one I may not forget. So much, perhaps even everything, felt impossible. I’m not sure why I decided to go to a craft store. Did I believe I’d […]
The writing gurus say not to write about the pain when it is fresh. By that they do not mean not to write about it at all, but not to share it just yet when your skin is still hot, when your brain is still hot. Don’t share it when you’re still on fire. I’ve […]
Every year our church had at least one evangelistic series, at least that’s what I recall. At least one. If not three. On some scale. And the best thing about them wasn’t that people were giving their lives to Jesus, although of course that’s a wonderful thing, but for me at age 7, the best thing about these evangelist series was the baptism at the end.
And I’m learning that to sit with grief (which is sometimes seemingly out of the reach of hope or any warm sentiments) is to honor our capacity to love. At some point the chest hurt eases but I’m not grabbing for that moment.
In case you need this reminder or first-time instruction… The Holy Spirit doesn’t guilt-trip us into submission or action. The Holy Spirit can work with us in our guilt-warped state. AND… The Holy Spirit begins peacefully. What begins in peace may ramp up in passion and enthusiasm but -will not manipulate -will not confuse -will […]