This morning, before our assortment of store-bought cereals, homemade granola, and soy milk graced the kitchen table for breakfast, and before our family of four prayed together to begin the day, my four-year-old was asking my two-year-old a problematic question. “How much children do you want to have?” she asked. There are two things wrong […]
Again…m#2
I showed up prepared to pray for others and ended up praying for myself, too. Even got to pray twice because the Rabbi wasn’t there. Not sure what happened to him but God used his absence to feed my soul, work away at my heart, remind me of His presence…that it is even with me. I […]
mother’s day: is it for me?
a year ago yesterday, i sat at the end of the church pew and cried. i couldn’t help it. i couldn’t stop it. each tear effortlessly streamed down my face. why? because the children were handing out flowers to mothers but not to me. i tried to prep myself the day before, reading a blog that […]
joy, the pure kind
i almost didn’t write about this and i find it strange that i didn’t think to write about it much sooner. well, here’s the deal. today we (my husband and i) got really good news. and no, we’re not pregnant. today was my 2nd post-op appt since having the 4.5 inch and 10 inch fibroids […]
presence
it’s time to write again. unfortunately, i allowed myself to get distracted by facebook and now i’ve forgotten how i was going to begin this post. it was smarter than this; i value smart starts. alas, writing is still in order so here i go, placing one figurative foot in front of the other. today […]
mixed emotions
#1. I woke with regret. It’s been a week since surgery. I’m doing quite well–pretty strong, beating fatigue. But I should have set up an auto response for email, trusted all of work to God. Instead, I’m not truly resting and it feels too late now. What pains me is not that I need the […]
to be known
today i talked with a few girlfriends on our monthly conference call. i shared how hard mother’s day was, how i cried as mothers were asked to stand in church and children handed them flowers. i talked about the pain of not being a mother. one friend responded with, “You are a mother. Women who’ve […]