“There is no reason for this pain.” I keyed each word onto a phone note so as not to forget the insane lesson many of us have been taught, that every bad thing we experience can be chalked up to the hand of God which apparently intentionally drops calamity onto our heads for God’s purpose. […]
(Mis)carriage: processing grace
I say that wishing I could have intervened, wishing I knew how to convince you that losing a(nother) child deserves at least a few days off. Sure, the procedure didn’t require a hospital stay but…oh honey, your heart. I’m amazed. No, not impressed. Amazed. Amazed you didn’t break.
Kids say some crazy stuff.
This morning, before our assortment of store-bought cereals, homemade granola, and soy milk graced the kitchen table for breakfast, and before our family of four prayed together to begin the day, my four-year-old was asking my two-year-old a problematic question. “How much children do you want to have?” she asked. There are two things wrong […]
I showed up prepared to pray for others and ended up praying for myself, too. Even got to pray twice because the Rabbi wasn’t there. Not sure what happened to him but God used his absence to feed my soul, work away at my heart, remind me of His presence…that it is even with me. I […]
mother’s day: is it for me?
a year ago yesterday, i sat at the end of the church pew and cried. i couldn’t help it. i couldn’t stop it. each tear effortlessly streamed down my face. why? because the children were handing out flowers to mothers but not to me. i tried to prep myself the day before, reading a blog that […]
joy, the pure kind
i almost didn’t write about this and i find it strange that i didn’t think to write about it much sooner. well, here’s the deal. today we (my husband and i) got really good news. and no, we’re not pregnant. today was my 2nd post-op appt since having the 4.5 inch and 10 inch fibroids […]
it’s time to write again. unfortunately, i allowed myself to get distracted by facebook and now i’ve forgotten how i was going to begin this post. it was smarter than this; i value smart starts. alas, writing is still in order so here i go, placing one figurative foot in front of the other. today […]