once again i have zero answers and this time around i have zero questions except “when can i get discharged?”

this is my first time overnighting in a hospital. it’s pretty cool. the temp is just right for sleeping. the service is great. my bed adjusts. the fruit is delicious. the eggs are suspect but i’ll get past that in time…

so here’s the deal. somewhere between 2:40 and 3:00 yesterday afternoon, my right eye clouded over in the top inner corner. i freaked out! but it was a silent freaking out…the sort that happens in my head alone supplemented by quiet pleas to heaven for mercy. Please God, No God, No No No! PLEASE!! and about 30 seconds later, all was back to “normal.”

Tricia called to say she was downstairs. she was going to give me a ride into town so i could pick up the big paper garbage bags for the Encounter clean up day at Wolf’s Prairie park. i hopped in the car, knowing i should tell Tricia everything. and the Lord knew i was scared so he had Tricia ask how my day was.

“it was fine until a few minutes ago,” i confessed. and then i told her the whole story. so we picked up the bags and continued on to the Niles hospital. the service was great. Pam checked me in, entered my info into the system, did the basics then i was ushered into a room where Ann Marie did an EKG and the doctor–first name Bryan–was so wonderfully kind an thorough. and Paul took me to get a CT. everyone was great. i must remember to send a card. i don’t know if they realize how much of a blessing they are. i’ve had one too many sour medical interactions–i’m jaded. but they were each a God-send.

and my friends. Tricia, Justin, Todd, Fab, Stoyan, Chanda, Trishonda, Kieren, and many more are praying. just wish my parents didn’t have to know. they’re worried…and i can’t stop them from worrying. they want to be here…they won’t say it but i hear it when we talk. but you know what? friends, family, nurses, doctors, no one can do a thing. somehow i’m sure that none of us is in control of this thing, whatever it is. so our only good option is to rest in the knowledge that God still loves and one day we’ll all get answers. and until then i keep getting periodic checks:

Blood Pressure–Fine
Oxygen Levels–Fine
blah blah blah–Fine

just had my iv line flushed.

still waiting for my doctor to visit. she came while i was getting another MRI but that meant that i wasn’t here…so…can i go yet?

i keep asking the RN that, the NA that. anyone. i just wanna go outside, go to the beach! how fabulous that would be. but alas, i must sit in this room as the blue sky taunts me, calls my name. honestly. though the window is closed i could swear i’ve heard my name at least a dozen times. Michaela, come join the sunny day!

hmmm…maybe this is a psyche ward after all. ha