i’m determined to speak briefly, say enough and no more. i have a bad habit of rambling on and on and on… and it’s not b/c i’m a woman. i think it’s a matter of finding my voice late and finding authority in my voice even later. so i’ve got a lot to catch up on, a lot of blanks that need filling, and never enough time. if i write out my thoughts first, i can speak them more fluidly but there isn’t always time for pen and paper/keyboard and fingers. alas, i must be quicker. i must. then maybe i’ll be able to explain myself in just a few words.
In no other way could I have known how many cymbals, sirens and bulldozers were tromping around in my head, frolicking like job-less teens in the summertime, except by stepping away from my job for two months. The noise was deafening, overwhelming. What percentage of the noise was inner critic or outer, I don’t know. […]
I’m that person who looks around O’Hare wondering who I know because there must be someone; the world isn’t that big, right? If I could page the entire airport, I would. “Hi folks. My name is Michaela Lawrence Jeffery. At least one of you knows me. Meet me in the F gates.” Twice. Twice I’ve […]
The event in this early stage of an essay took place several years ago. One day I’ll finish the essay. The heaviness I felt that afternoon is one I may not forget. So much, perhaps even everything, felt impossible. I’m not sure why I decided to go to a craft store. Did I believe I’d […]