when you know that what you say to someone will absolutely crush them, and when you know that you must say it anyway, but you don’t want to because even though you hate the actions, you love the person, but you have to say it because God told you to let Him use you to ensure that person’s salvation, there’s just no easy way…
and it’s not about you. you remember clearly when you crushed someone and it was all about you. you remember when you spoke your mind just to save yourself. but this time it’s different. you’re not saving (because you don’t have those powers) but you’re a God-vessel, you’re a messenger of truth. you’re drinking of the endless river you say others should try. the water’s bitter. you gag at the smell. and your mum’s not around to ease anything.
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this sucks!
but you’ve been prepared to deal with it. you’ve been strengthened even though you feel weaker than you did yesterday. and tomorrow may not bring may flowers (since it’s june) but time will heal if you let it because you were created to love and God is…
and love makes things alright somehow in time.