A friend from seminary introduced me to this via her twitter feed. For all my life, sunset Friday to sunset Saturday has been Sabbath–24hrs of rest from regularly daily rhythms. I didn’t come to value it until college. In grad school I questioned it quite seriously and re-learned its value. The rest of my life has contained a mix of going along with a tradition and struggling to find meaning.
Most recently, the latter has been my plight. Yes, I’m thankful for the break but “break” is so far from really true and from truly fulfilling. I want to celebrate Sabbath, find joy there, not just the absence of work. And truth is, I don’t always get to not work–I’m a pastor.
My seminary friend’s tweets have caused me to long for more and actively pursue that more, trusting God wants it for me and will lead me to it. #sabbathing is much more than taking a nap or not working on homework. It’s beyond restrictions, richer than convenience. It’s a recognition of God’s presence even when I’m busy. That’s one thing I’ve definitely lacked–the ability to see God. It’s not that he’s been hiding but that I’ve been blinded by busyness.
And it’s probably mostly good stuff such as having folks over for lunch after church and volunteering for various church events. In the moment, I know the time is well spent but the lead up is weighed down with, “So why did I agree to this?” and other such regret. Each Friday afternoon wears a haze, a cloak of, “But I have SOOO much more I want to do before Sabbath!” And them Sabbath becomes an inconvenience, a barrier between me and goal completion.
All that has made me weary. I want more. I want better. I want Sabbath. And today, I’ve had Sabbath. It began when I asked God, this morning, to help me see him today. Prayer answered. #sabbathing is in full effect.
