Let’s begin with why you’re here. I have no idea! So let me tell you why you’ve made a good choice.

We don’t enter this life with an innate sense of how to walk through loss. We do, however, have the option to figure it out…well, some of us do. Some of us are gifted with the time and the space.

I’m a huge believer in slugging through the rollercoaster, the stages of grief, however you want to name it. Yes. Slugging. It ain’t pretty. It ain’t easy. It ain’t linear. And as ugly as I think slugs are, their slow, labored movements look just like ours when someone we love dies.

There’s also

…the death of an eye.

…the death of a fetus (or two or three…)

…the death of love.

…the death of (name your slug-inducing pain).

What I do with loss

I write about it when it’s raw even though that’s contrary to the advice some writing professionals will give you. I’m not writing the raw moments for New York Bestseller bragging rights. It’s the catharsis I’m after and I’ve found that even in the raw I do enough editing to help you see your pain in mine. You then realize you’re not alone (as cheesy as that sounds) and a little voice within whispers give it time…you’ll be okay…for now, be here.

One way to begin writing through pain is to identify words that matter to us. Any words. If you can write 100 words describing why a word matters, there’s a really great chance that it actually does and that, if you sit with it long enough, it’ll help you process.

Now, I’m not a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. I’m a word lover. I can’t guarantee my method will “work”, however you define that. I’m here for the journey.

Michaela Lawrence Jeffery

(If it’s helpful to know, I have an MA in English Literature from the University of Illinois, Chicago (UIC) and an MDiv from the Seventh-Day Adventist Theological Seminary at Andrews University. I love classrooms, both as student and teacher. PhD, where are you?)

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