joy, the pure kind

i almost didn’t write about this and i find it strange that i didn’t think to write about it much sooner. well, here’s the deal.

today we (my husband and i) got really good news. and no, we’re not pregnant. 

today was my 2nd post-op appt since having the 4.5 inch and 10 inch fibroids removed back in July. first step was ultra sound. well, that’s after blood pressure and weighing and i swear that scale was oh, so wrong. my jeans were just really heavy and i must have been retaining water.

the ultra sound tech was very pleased with how everything looked. uterus is healing well. the lining looks good. ovaries are good. i do have two small fibroids but they’re seriously small and not at all close to the uterus/lining/all-the-stuff-that’s-bad. so no worries there. it did throw me for a loop momentarily when she said something along the lines of, “and here we have a fibroid…” my first thought was, “WHAT?? wasn’t he supposed to take them all out??” but i kept my mouth shut, hoping for good news. the aforementioned good news was enough to calm my soul and cease the desire to speak strong words to the doctor. 

next was meeting with the doctor. the doctor who did my surgery wasn’t there so we saw one of his colleagues. once we met him, i felt positive about him simply because he’s old. i know that’s not the most objective piece of information but it kept me calm under the assumption that since he’s old, he won’t mince words neither will he suggest things that aren’t necessary. he essentially confirmed the ultra sound report but he did it in a way that made me so happy. he talked about the volume of the uterus pre and post fibroids. what a dramatic change! 500 mL to 170 mL or something like that? mercy. (now, keep in mind that i don’t remember all the details, just the essence of what the details mean so if you’re reading this and thinking that it doesn’t make sense, don’t worry…just get to the gist of it all.) the normal range is a little less than that so in essence, i’m getting right back to where i should be. 

and then he talked about getting pregnant and asked if i was taking pre-natal vitamins. he prescribed some and said we could start trying in a month. i could have jumped for joy. but my sensible husband said, “but Dr. X said 6 months post op.” to which the present doctor said, “well then you should go with 6 months.” and i knew that that was the right thing to do so i wasn’t mad at my husband. what DID get my emotions going was that the doctor essentially said that i’m healing so well that i could get pregnant in a month and it would be okay. that was huge in my heart, positively huge.

once we got back home, i shared the news with a few people and one friend wrote back telling me she was really happy for me. as i read her text, i felt the tears begin. it took me a second to realize that i was really, really, really happy. and then i let them flow. what sweet relief. and what joy. 

sometimes you hear good news and you don’t realize how much you needed to hear it until you begin to cry. it’s beautiful and healing. and reflecting on this is the perfect way to end the day. thank you, God.

 

and no, this doesn’t give you license to ask me if i’m pregnant months from now. just remember that i’m not too afraid to talk about myself so if/when that good news comes, i’ll be sure to let you know : )

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