This post is not like the others.
I’ve decided to capitalize the beginnings of sentences and the word “I” within each sentence…because I feel like it.
Feelings allow me to do much of what I do every minute of every day. Perhaps that’s because I don’t have a conventional 9-5 and hardly anyone’s telling me what to do. I got out of bed today at minutes to 10am. It was much later than I actually woke up — that was around 6am. Why didn’t I get out of bed, then? Because I didn’t feel like it, my eyes felt sleep deprived and I felt at peace under the covers.
When I finally decided to at least sit up, it was probably about 9:30. I read a thought from the book Near to the Heart of God about how each of us has a different journey and that that’s okay. It was a “I know that already” moment but also a “It’s really good to hear that again” moment. I’m self-absorbed enough to believe that everyone’s walk with God should look like mine does when the going’s good and like Enoch’s every other time. But for about 20 minutes I concentrated on how different my journey with God is compared to others’ and how good that is. We add nicely to each others’ pictures of God, knowledge of grace, desire for love…
Because I trusted my feelings of comfort, peace, joy…I spent more time that usual (considering the late hour) thinking about how I should see others’ journeys especially those so different from mine. Are they missing something? Maybe. If they’re journeying without Jesus, yes. If they’re with Him but not concentrating on Him much, yes. So where do I draw the line? When does their journey look good enough not to warrant my concern? Never. It always warrants my concern but not my contention, not my criticism, not my cold shoulder. But I feel badly. I feel as if they are so far from where they should be. But who am I. I’m human…not at all qualified to judge…not at all called upon to do anything more than love.
There is a catch, however; I can only trust my feelings if my mind is exposed to good things. Exposure affects feelings. None can argue against that. I can’t think I’m stronger than “that”–“that” is human and last I checked I am nowhere close to anything else.
I’ll rest in my feelings from time to time. I’ll find comfort in my feelings. I won’t get all hormonal and weepy. I’ll just try to remember that feelings are often good judges from time to…